regrets are for squares.
Live it up.

chickenyaoi:

straight boys don’t shut their mouths because their lips would be touching and that’s gay

proveable:

my parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly

eyeballfarts:

LOL

melissapple:

"Hey do you have a tumbl-"

image

thesylverlining:

elkian:

teen-heat:

why do advertisers sexualize female m&ms

why do advertisers assign gender to m&ms

why do advertisers humanize food products

why is there a bear family who considers the highlight of their day to be wiping their asses

coluring:

officialpigeon:

You can literally answer “that’s what the government wants you to think” to anything

that’s what the government wants you to think

wifipasswords:

eat your dinner, kid. dont you know there are children in africa. there are children in europe. there are children in asia. there are children everywhere.

narcimallows:

smile and clap along
have a sudden fit of coughing so you can awkwardly hide your face in your hands
beat-box
scream “dis my jAM” and jump on the table to break-dance
sing amazing grace as loud as you possibly can until they stop singing to you
go up to the closest person singing and hug them until they stop. however long it takes. keep holding them until they feel uncomfortable. bonus points for humming in their ear
start a mosh pit
striptease

clockworkquell:

p-istos:

So I just had a guy at my house and I asked him if he wanted my wifi password and he said no I just wanna spend time with you

if this isn’t love then I don’t know what is

cumaddict72:

chekhov:

So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like $2) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake twitter of a hot girl and added a bunch of tweets over the course of a month to make it look legit and then I requested to follow him and he let me and he is the most goddamn boring person in the world

you need to be arrested

tawnks:

blastortoise:

blastortoise:

My dick is pi inches long

This is fucking me up a bit because like that means my dick is not bigger than 3 inches but yet it’s infinite like wtf

no it just means your dick is irrational and people hate it

unsharedmemories:

do you ever start a multiple choice question and just when you think you have the answer you see “all the above” or “none of the above” opinion and you start you question your entire life?

unicornbl000d:

Oh, so women can’t dress how they want because men can’t control their sexual urges? When dogs can’t control their sexual urges, we cut off their balls.

I think I’m onto something here.